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Stay Close, Little Daddy: Part 1

by Bluntmuffin

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1.
Bye bye my brother! Farewell my mother! See ya sweet sista! I'm gonna miss ya! Oh, I'm gonna miss you. Oh. So stay close to me, little daddy. Sorry I'm needy. But I am only three. And though you're a weeny, you're bigger than me. So, I feel safe with you close. So stay close to me, little daddy. Hold on and squeeze me. Love me and please me. Don't be a tease-y. Say that you need me. Say that you won't leave me alone. So stay close to me, little daddy.
2.
Hey, Kishor! 03:26
I need a friend/I need something/to get me out of this state I'm in I'm tired of staying at home/I'm tired of being alone/I don't know why I can't just pick up the phone And say Hey, Kishor/What's the score? Tell me what are you doing could you give me a call? If you're not busy, we can meet, and we can hang out at the Springfield Mall. Won't you give me a shout/I'm feeling left out/And I can't understand what it's all about I'm out of ideas/I forgot what it is/One cup brownie mix and one cup...I can't remember (don't worry I'll tell you later) Will you take my picture? Will you go for a hike? Will you make me a suit and show me how to dress nice? Will you make me laugh? Pick me up when I'm down? Will you always be there unless your brother's in town?
3.
Valerie from Arlington County/Took the one way bus to Philly/With no plans and nothing to do/No inhibitions and nothing to lose/Just an easy smile to steal your blues/And a pair of dancing shoes Oh Valerie the world's so new, there's nothing that you can't do, it's all for you in Philadelphia Sarah came from NYC/On the one way bus to Philly/She wanted to be a comedian/Telling jokes to all the children/But when laughs didn't pay the rent/She became an accountant Oh Sarah the world's so new, there's nothing that you can't do, it's all for you in Philadelphia All their friends were there too: Amanda, Brad, Heather and Andrew, Katie, Lucas, Greg, Greg, and Melissa, Kim, Jeff, Kishor, Keith and Merah, OH EVERYONE ALL OF US IN PHILADELPHIA!
4.
Vibrations 03:11
Phantom feelings give me pause, a quiver near my butt/But nothing's going on down there, I made the whole thing up/I haven't had a text from anyone in over a week/Oh God what I would give for a vibration in my jeans In my jeans I could reach out first but it'd just fill me with terror/I'd rather just pretend it's due to technical error/I could call but be hung up on after just two rings/Oh God what I would give for a vibration in my jeans In my jeans Back when we were teens, it was cascading screens, red numbers in the top right, living the dream, I got the technology, but no messaging, am I out of the loop, or am I out of the scene?
5.
Dit's Bits 02:32
I moved to sit a bit too quick and sat upon my balls/I felt the squish it made me sick, to sit upon my balls/Such awful pain under my taint/My poor bundle, trapped in my grundle/And now my poor boys will never work again/Dit's Bits you will be missed My deflated sack, it can't do jack, after I sat upon my balls/Can't make babies, it hurts to pee after I sat upon my balls/Fare thee well, sweet testicles, auf wiedersehen my two best friends/I should have checked with you before I sat on you/Dit's Bits you will be missed (Everyone it's time for the ball, but I sat on mine!) I'm shooting blanks, from an empty tank, after I sat upon my balls/I'm so depressed my junk's a mess, after I sat upon my balls/I'm fixated on what's lost and gone, life seems so hard, without my nards/I'm only half a man a shaft and empty can/Dit's Bits you will be missed
6.
Did you hear what they're about him? What they're saying about Ben? They're saying Bennett can't dance, he won't dance anymore. They're saying Bennett can't groove he won't move on the dance floor. If what they're saying is true, I don't know what I'll do. I don't know what I'll do. Now let's take it back all the way to 2002. A campus full of college kids with nothing to do. Bennett had the idea for a semi-formal dance party. He called it J-Ball and the rest was history. Admission was for free. But now they're saying that Bennett's done dancing. He lost the feeling and now he can't stand to be Mr Dance Party. I said, "Bennett, it just can't be! I'd do anything if you would dance for me. Get down, Benny B! You must dance for me." You must dance for me.
7.
I can feel my legs/withering away/And I can no longer hide/my expanding waist/My heart beats weaker/Each and every day/I don't how much more/My body can take. This sedentary life is killing me/It's killing me/I don't know why I act helplessly/Act helplessly/Or why I live my life, so passively/So passively/But this sedentary life's killing me... I waste away/Watching the tv/And I feel so tired/But too restless to sleep/I want to move on/But don't have the energy/I wish I knew what it is/That's wrong with me I'm gonna take a stand/Against sitting/I'm gonna take a stand today/Take a stand and walk away

about

PART 1 OUT NOW! Part 2 drops on June 1. Part 3 drops on July 1.

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released May 1, 2015

Spitfire Dit/Bearcat

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Bluntmuffin Burke, Virginia

Two dudes, aging.

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